


Sticky Situations

by LordOfTheNargles



Category: Naruto
Genre: Accidental kisses, M/M, hashirama is already dead, sleep with one eye open madara, stuck together, tobirama will kill you for sure, unfortunate accident apparently, what could go wrong, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 01:52:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9101092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfTheNargles/pseuds/LordOfTheNargles
Summary: "What are you doing with that?""I'm cutting off my hand."Or that fic where Madara and Tobirama get stuck together.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stardust_Painter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust_Painter/gifts).



“It won’t come off.”

“What are you talking about.” Madara’s face was a peculiar shade of green.

“It,” Tobirama pulled his hand towards himself, jerking Madara forward in the process, who for his part let out a startled shriek, “won't come off.”

Madara braced himself slightly, grabbing onto his wrist before looking at Tobirama expectantly. “You pull when I say three, got it?”

Tobirama gritted his teeth at this idiot, wondering how he could get himself into such a predicament. A flare of chakra, and suddenly Madara was yanking on his hand. Tobirama stumbled forward, barely catching himself as his arm twisted awkwardly. The glare he gifted Madara with could melt stone, and yet the Uchiha seemed unaffected. That irked Tobirama all the more.

“I thought you said on three!” He snarled angrily. Bracing a kunai, the younger Senju narrowed his eyes at their adjoined hands.

“What are you doing with that?”

“I’m cutting off my hand.”

“What?” Madara squawked in indignation, bringing his palm and thus Tobirama’s, closer to his chest. A strange mix of disgust and heartbreak painted itself on Madara’s face at the sight of them.

“Give me back my hand.”

“I can’t! It’s stuck to mine!”

“I don’t care! I’m cutting it off!”

“Well I don’t want your palm!”

“I don’t want to be stuck to you!”

“What’s wrong with being stuck to me?” Madara shouted defensively.

“Do you want my reasons in alphabetical or chronological order, Uchiha? I collected quite a few reasons to despise you over the years.” Tobirama seethed as he slowly pulled his arm forward. Madara flushed in anger and embarrassment.

“Well it’s entirely mutual, stupid Senju.”

Tobirama ignored the remark, gritting his teeth angrily as he tried to move the fingers that were encased in Madara’s own. He couldn’t feel them at all. He imagined the contact with the Uchiha’s skin has successfully killed off his nerve endings. Entirely possible, he decided as he glanced at the Uchiha’s dumb face.

“I’ll pry them apart.” Tobirama decided, bringing the kunai down towards their clasped palms. Madara tsked again before walking forward slightly, angling his palm upward. Tobirama edged his kunai slightly, carefully aligning the blade before nicking at the glue slowly. It, unsurprisingly, didn’t work. The kunai skidded across the top of the glue, sinking into the skin of Madara’s wrist. Tobirama braced for the incoming assault.

“What the fuck!” Madara screeched, dragging his arm towards himself. The split skin bled onto the floor in red rivulets. Dragging his eyes away from the stab wound, Madara’s glare dug holes into Tobirama’s skull. “You had one job Senju. One job! You did that on purpose!”

“I did not! The glue seems to be stronger than the blade.”

Madara eyed him distrustfully, a sneer adorning his features. Placing his fingers on the wound, he tried to channel his chakra. Tobirama could sense the imbalance of the Uchiha’s jutsu and had to roll his eyes. The Uchiha in question hissed angrily as his skin started to burn.

“Are you always this incompetent?” Tobirama asked as he watched the Uchiha’s flailing efforts at healing himself.

“Like you’re any better!”

Tobirama lifted an eyebrow in response. Batting the Uchiha’s hand and his own disgust away, Tobirama waved a glowing green hand over the wound. Madara gave a startled yelp before pushing him away. “What are you trying to do?”

“Stopping you from bleeding to death. I wouldn’t want to drag your dead weight around.”

“Oh, charming!” Madara waved his hand around in Tobirama’s general vicinity, his tone a mocking sneer.

“You haven’t seen anything yet, Uchiha.”

“Why did I have to get stuck with the crazy Senju?”

“Excuse you! This is your fault this happened!”

“My fault? You were the one who threw the crazy jutsu!”

“What are you talking about, idiot?”

“The plant! The one you threw me towards! The sap tree thing!”

Tobirama furrowed his brows, and unconsciously tried to cross his hands, bringing Madara forward in the process. Madara dragged his hand away, glaring at him.

“I’m not the one who threw you. I assumed you tripped.”

“What the hell! What idiot would trip on clear ground?”

Tobirama gave him a pointed look that told him exactly what he thought of that. Madara gritted his teeth in anger. “I will kill you. As soon as I’m free, I will kill you.”

“Not if I end you first.” they glared at each other. The clearing fell in hushed silence before Madara made a choked sound of realisation.

“We are both idiots.” he face palmed dramatically.

Tobirama gave him a questioning glance, but Madara needed no further prompting. “Your brother! That daft tree lover! It must have been him!”

“Don’t talk about my brother that way!” Tobirama snapped instinctively.

Madara gave him an unimpressed glare before pacing slightly, dragging Tobirama around with him. Tobirama dug his feet into the ground, jostling Madara back. Madara yanked his arm forward, attempting to throw the Senju off balance. Tobirama meanwhile, channelled chakra into the ground, securing his feet. Yanking harder, Madara gave a soft gasp as his feet slid on the ground. He skid forward, his arms flailing wildly as he grappled for a semblance of balance, successfully punching Tobirama in the chin in the process. The Senju glared, his arm coming up to throw a punch as he hissed in anger, but was thrown off balance as the Uchiha knocked his feet out from under him.

Grabbing the Senju’s shoulder, Madara desperately tried to right himself. Eyes widening, Tobirama watched as Madara’s face grew closer to his own, the momentum carrying them in an abstract flaily dance of which Tobirama had no hopes of stopping. An arm cresting above Madara’s shoulder and suddenly Tobirama was staring in shock into Madara’s impossibly wide eyes as their lips smacked together. Neither seemed to comprehend what was happening until suddenly they sprang apart gasping for air. The Uchiha stumbled back, dragging himself back with his feet as far as their hands would allow as he scrubbed desperately at his mouth. Tobirama still seemed to be in a perpetual state of shock, a certain empty look in his eye, as though something had died inside.

They sat in silence for a moment, refusing to look each other in the eye. The world seemed to mock them as it continued to spin on, indifferent to their current crisis. Madara sent a silent curse to whatever god seemed to be laughing at him. As though to appease him, a chakra signal emerged from beyond a few miles of trees, bright and happy and entirely too green. Tobirama’s head jerked up, his expression cold and impassive as his brother edged closer towards them.

“We both get to kill him.” Madara said. If his voice was a decibel or two higher than normal, well no one was to mention it.

“Deal.” Tobirama agreed solemnly.

Hashirama jumped gracefully from above, soaring into the clearing with a neat flip. It took him 10 seconds to notice both of them, another 5 for his eyes to widen in fear and a total of 2.5 seconds to spin and evade the incoming mass of kunai aimed specifically at his thick head.


End file.
